Saint Theresa's Prayer
May today there be peace within.
May you trust God that you are exactly where you are meant to be.
May you not forget the infinite possibilities that are born of faith.
May you use those gifts that you have received, and pass on the love that has been given to you. May you be confident knowing you are a child of God.
Let this presence settle into your bones, and allow your soul the freedom to sing, dance, praise and love.
It is there for each and every one of us.
Monday, February 18, 2008
Tuesday, February 12, 2008
Confessions of a recovering worry - wart
"Let all that I am wait quietly before God, for my hope is in HIM" - Ps. 62:5
One thing I've found is that it was easy for me to slip into a life of worry and fear and miss out on a life of joy. I like control. I love to plan. I make lists, spreadsheets, bullet pointed documents for just about everything in my life. But somehow I'm figuring out that I'm not really "in" on God's plans. I'm missing out. I'm over here with my folders and my label maker and He is just waiting for me to just come and spend some time with Him. If I just sat and chatted with Him, shared wtih Him my grand plans then maybe He would be able to give His input. I feel like every time I try to grab control of things everything slips out of my grasp. I control nothing beyond myself. I keep running into the same wall, so much so that the top of my head is completely flat! And in the process I've lost my joy. See if I try to control everything then I'm the one worrying about everything. If I just LET GO of those things that I can't control and give them up to the Father who created EVERYTHING then I won't have to worry so much. Or even worry at all. So why do I have such a problem letting go?
Rob Bell said some interesting things about Joy and Fear. (I feel like you could easily substitute "Worry" for Fear)
"Fear is about the unknown.
Joy is about what's known.
Fear is about what's not come.
Joy is about what's already come.
Jesus Christ has come already and will come again."
Anyway, those are my random notes from Mr. Bell. :)
One thing I've found is that it was easy for me to slip into a life of worry and fear and miss out on a life of joy. I like control. I love to plan. I make lists, spreadsheets, bullet pointed documents for just about everything in my life. But somehow I'm figuring out that I'm not really "in" on God's plans. I'm missing out. I'm over here with my folders and my label maker and He is just waiting for me to just come and spend some time with Him. If I just sat and chatted with Him, shared wtih Him my grand plans then maybe He would be able to give His input. I feel like every time I try to grab control of things everything slips out of my grasp. I control nothing beyond myself. I keep running into the same wall, so much so that the top of my head is completely flat! And in the process I've lost my joy. See if I try to control everything then I'm the one worrying about everything. If I just LET GO of those things that I can't control and give them up to the Father who created EVERYTHING then I won't have to worry so much. Or even worry at all. So why do I have such a problem letting go?
Rob Bell said some interesting things about Joy and Fear. (I feel like you could easily substitute "Worry" for Fear)
"Fear is about the unknown.
Joy is about what's known.
Fear is about what's not come.
Joy is about what's already come.
Jesus Christ has come already and will come again."
Anyway, those are my random notes from Mr. Bell. :)
Thursday, January 10, 2008
This year...
I'm a worrier. You might be thinking, "Hey, I worry too. Everyone does a little!" Let me help you understand. I'm an incredible worrier. I mean I'm REALLY good at it. I'm not sure where it started or how it happened but somewhere along the way I made it my responsibility to WORRY about the world. Hey, I'm not at all proud of it. In fact, right now I'm worrying what all the people reading this are going to think about me. (See? Excellent worrier!)
My resolution this year... to have no worries, no fear and to totally trust my GOD.
My resolution this year... to have no worries, no fear and to totally trust my GOD.
Wednesday, January 9, 2008
I don't feel like I have anything to say....
So.... I really don't feel like I have anything to say. :) Nothing extremely profound, no deep thoughts to ponder (at least none I want anyone else to know about) and no incredible story to tell. I think I'll just confess instead.
Hello, my name is Jessica and I'm a worrier. (Hello, Jessica.)
Hello, my name is Jessica and I'm a worrier. (Hello, Jessica.)
Monday, December 3, 2007
New Life
A little over two weeks ago I found out I was pregnant... again.
A month before I went through one of the toughest life events I had ever gone through. I had been "pregnant" and had miscarried. I say "pregnant" because the nurses thought that a fetus had probably never developed in the first place. I was very early in my pregnancy and it was possible that it wasn't a real pregnancy at all. But it was real to me. I really thought that I had my first child growing inside of me. I talked to him, prayed for him, daydreamed about him and smiled about him all the time. (I say "him" because it's easier than saying "it".) I gushed to people that I was finally with child and could barely contain my excitement. It was not even a week after taking the home pregnancy test that I learned it was not to be. I remember feeling this complete sadness wash over me. I cried for so long and Ian cried with me. I felt empty. I felt like a failure. I felt rejected. I felt ashamed And no one really had a clue which was totally my fault. I acted like it was no big deal. We would get pregnant again and it would work out someday. But I was so depressed that I worried if I would bounce back. Nothing had ever hit me that hard. Not my parent's divorce, nothing in my life had hurt as bad as that did.
So these are the feelings that I was still trying to deal with when I found out I was pregnant again. I fell on my knees and cried when I found out. I asked Ian to pray for me. I couldn't bear it happening all over again. I began to tell people close to me but this time I did not gush or had any excitement. I was full of worry, fear and dread. Not a great way to start off!
I've had a lot of time to think and pray. I'd like to think that I have no worry, fear or dread but that's not true. Honestly, I just have less. But it's a start. Every day is a struggle. Every day I feel like throwing up and I thank God for the opportunity to carry one of His children, a soon to be son or daughter of God! I have to admit that I need help. That I can't do this on my own. I have to admit that none of this is going to work if I don't start relying on God and His strength.
Today I had my blood drawn AGAIN. I find out if my hormone levels are doing ok. Next week I have my first ultrasound. :) I'm really excited about that.
So there's some back story for you. Hopefully, it will help you understand more and more about where I am and how I'm doing. And maybe you'll be inspired to pray for me. :)
A month before I went through one of the toughest life events I had ever gone through. I had been "pregnant" and had miscarried. I say "pregnant" because the nurses thought that a fetus had probably never developed in the first place. I was very early in my pregnancy and it was possible that it wasn't a real pregnancy at all. But it was real to me. I really thought that I had my first child growing inside of me. I talked to him, prayed for him, daydreamed about him and smiled about him all the time. (I say "him" because it's easier than saying "it".) I gushed to people that I was finally with child and could barely contain my excitement. It was not even a week after taking the home pregnancy test that I learned it was not to be. I remember feeling this complete sadness wash over me. I cried for so long and Ian cried with me. I felt empty. I felt like a failure. I felt rejected. I felt ashamed And no one really had a clue which was totally my fault. I acted like it was no big deal. We would get pregnant again and it would work out someday. But I was so depressed that I worried if I would bounce back. Nothing had ever hit me that hard. Not my parent's divorce, nothing in my life had hurt as bad as that did.
So these are the feelings that I was still trying to deal with when I found out I was pregnant again. I fell on my knees and cried when I found out. I asked Ian to pray for me. I couldn't bear it happening all over again. I began to tell people close to me but this time I did not gush or had any excitement. I was full of worry, fear and dread. Not a great way to start off!
I've had a lot of time to think and pray. I'd like to think that I have no worry, fear or dread but that's not true. Honestly, I just have less. But it's a start. Every day is a struggle. Every day I feel like throwing up and I thank God for the opportunity to carry one of His children, a soon to be son or daughter of God! I have to admit that I need help. That I can't do this on my own. I have to admit that none of this is going to work if I don't start relying on God and His strength.
Today I had my blood drawn AGAIN. I find out if my hormone levels are doing ok. Next week I have my first ultrasound. :) I'm really excited about that.
So there's some back story for you. Hopefully, it will help you understand more and more about where I am and how I'm doing. And maybe you'll be inspired to pray for me. :)
Wednesday, November 28, 2007
I had completely forgotten about this blog!
So I'm going in to sign up to create a new blog and much to my suprise I already have one! There is something seriously wrong with my brain sometimes.
I think I'm just going to use this blog as a way to journal my life, feelings, events and such. Hopefully, it will just be for close friends and family. :)
I think I'm just going to use this blog as a way to journal my life, feelings, events and such. Hopefully, it will just be for close friends and family. :)
Tuesday, June 26, 2007
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